6.10.2003
after much work, i'm switching journals now. my new address is
http://www.whitneyrayl.com
see you there.
created at 1:22 AM
6.07.2003
i'm home now, for a week.
it was easier to deal with being lonely than it is to deal with my family. i'm going to be glad to leave again.
created at 10:57 PM
6.06.2003
never have i loved rain so much as i have here. not only does it have a softening effect on the whole day, not only does it dim the sunlight and have a wonderfully soothing sound against a tin roof, not only is it a blast to play in, it also gets me out of work! isn't that great?
i'm going home tomorrow for a week and i'm rather excited about it.
it's a coffee day today.
created at 2:14 PM
6.05.2003
yesterday aunt susan and i went to albany to run errands. in the process, i spent roughly a hundred and ten dollars and got a very nice pair of oakleys, meteora by linkin park, fallen by evanescence and various herbs. i was quite pleased by the whole thing. it was a very good day and i was in a very good mood.
when today started, i thought it was going to be a good day again, but it wasn't. it ended up being long and hard with just a bit of stress all day long and the sum total of it is that now i'm worn out.
but . . .
angela is awesome!! let me tell you what she got me for my birthday/graduation! she got me the soundtrack to "once more with feeling" (sorry nick, i love it), she got me several songs from "dance of the vampires", she sent me a newspaper article on "vampires: why do we love them?" and the soundtrack to "interview with the vampire." aren't those some awesome presents?! heh, i see a trend in the presents' subjects.
well, i'm going to bed now 'cause tomorrow is going to be just like today.
good night.
created at 8:30 PM
this song was my theme song not very long ago and for a very long time.
tourniquet
evanescence
i tried to kill the pain,
but only brought more.
(so much more)
i lay dying,
and i'm pouring
crimson regret, and betrayal.
i'm dying,
fraying,
bleeding,
screaming.
am I too lost to be saved?
am I too lost?
my God! my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
my God! my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
do you remember me;
lost for so long?
will you be on the other side?
will you forgive me?
i'm dying,
fraying,
bleeding,
screaming.
am I too lost to be saved?
am I too lost?
my God! my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
my God! my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
(return to me salvation)
(i want to die!)
my God! my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
my God! my tourniquet,
return to me salvation.
my wounds cry for the grave.
my soul cries for deliverance.
will I be denied?
christ! tourniquet! my suicide.
(return to us salvation)
(return to us salvation...)
now it is, with no pun intended,
bring me to life. if you want the lyrics, email me and i'll give them to you.
created at 8:26 PM
6.03.2003
today was easy. we got started in the fields at our usual seven am and we only worked until eleven-ish because it started raining. that was good because i was ready to get the heck out of that tractor.
we cleaned the house all day and oiled the walls of my bathroom. then we watched the fugitive because we all got done with our work a lot earlier than usual. tomorrow aunt susan and i are going to go to albany to run some errands, which is why i'm online so late.
created at 10:58 PM
6.02.2003
i really was going to tell you all more about the weekend, but i am beyond exhausted. i was up at six fifteen today, out of the house by six forty-five and ran the tractor for eleven and a half hours. i'm beat.
i saw two quail today and one coyote. i had never seen a coyote before today.
aah. it's storming. i do love a good storm. the lightening is beautiful.
i got an oil burner the other day and now i'm burning patchouli oil in it. the smell of patchouli is very nice.
created at 8:32 PM
6.01.2003
i'm too tired to function right now, but i must say two things.
1) even though it's silently forbidden in the gothic circles, i got a tan.
2) i managed to pull off gothic at the beach. i spent most of the day (while i wasn't on the beach itself) wearing all black with black jewelry. i'm pleased.
created at 9:44 PM
