12.29.2002
did i say that i had the best christmas ever?
i meant it.
it wasn't really the presents, it was more what was behind the presents.
and who gave them.
created at 1:19 PM
12.28.2002
and you can tell everybody
that this is your song
it may seem quite simple
but now that it's done
i hope you don't mind
i hope you don't mind
that i put down in words
how wonderful life is
while you're in the world
created at 7:23 PM
12.26.2002
A different quiz, what strange type of person are you?
Evil lurkes beneath your skin...but you already knew that, didn't you? A mastermind at trickery, and ready to dupe those fools who dare come near you, your friends are few, but you know they'll be there for you. If they ever have someone that needs..."taking care of", they know your number.
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created at 2:29 PM
you like to be alone and see everything around you. you like to do things alone. you are a fall fairy but fall is a very pretty and soft time of year.
created at 2:21 PM
wonderful! i had the best christmas ever and i'm continuing to have the best christmas ever!
created at 9:49 AM
12.23.2002
you can't have peace without disruption.
night is full of a terrible and unimaginable beauty which mortals can only begin to understand.
created at 8:17 PM
12.20.2002
i'm really much too tired to be posting on this right now, but for some reason i really, really wanted to write.
for the first time in two years, this is going to be a wonderful christmas.
everything is changing and there isn't a thing i can do about it. and yet, it's not all necessarily bad . . . just . . . different. sometimes the change has always been there and i just didn't realize it until recently, and sometimes the change itself is recent. i like the recent changes better than the realized changes. don't ask me for examples though. there's no way i could think of any.
oh gosh, i miss him so much and he's right there--within reach--i can walk over and talk to him for hours...and yet, i don't. why not? i don't know. maybe i'm just scared that i'd be the one wanting it and not him. why doesn't he come talk to me? beats me. why don't i do the things that i think will make me the happiest? because they are also quite possibly the things that will make me the saddest.
where is the line between low self esteem, humility and feeling sorry for yourself?
and, furthermore, are there always more questions than answers?
created at 10:14 PM
12.17.2002
alone again – 11/23/02, 10:58pm
-------------
too clean for the dirty
too dirty for the clean
too godly for the unspiritual
too heathen for the godly
too normal for the weird
too strange for the normal
too quiet for the loud
too loud for the quiet
too careful for the flirts
too flirty for the careful
too smart for the “normal” people
too stupid for the intelligent
too gothic for just about anyone
but not gothic enough for the goths
not a punk
not a prep
not a sk8r
not grunge
not a jock
not a stoner
not outdoorsy
not popular
not social
i am
as i have been before
(and maybe always have been)
an outsider.
once and for all.
but this time i am
alone.
created at 5:00 PM
12.13.2002
i am of the opinion that it really just isn't worth it. i'll explain more later . . . or perhaps I'll make myself obscure. depends on the mood, i suppose.
i got my hand kissed again tonight. and got complimented on waltzing again also.
darkness is my closest friend.
created at 10:58 PM
12.08.2002
ha. i made it to someone's quote of the month. i feel special.
and my music was described as "hauntingly beautiful." it was one of the best compliments i've ever received.
it's really lovely to have people that you can just drop in on. or that you can just hang out without feeling like you're imposing . . . you know, like they actually like having you around and want you there. i don't know very many people like that.
today has been a very, very long day, yesterday was long, the day before was long and next week is going to be twice as long as this weekend was. i think i've lived at least a two weeks in these past three days. but last night made up for it all.
i'm going to post a poem on here, but not now because i don't have it with me.
good night and merry christmas.
created at 6:16 PM
12.06.2002
grrr. stupid activity day schedule.
created at 9:53 AM
12.04.2002
there really is something magic about snow.
created at 4:47 PM
